Should My Wannabe Content Creator Pal Stop Using Me for Content?

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?