That Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the Television Disappointments of the Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the television landscape of the recent year, a selection of series emerge not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. From cringe-inducing sequels to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final series began, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, fans certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the least of this show's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the flaws. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and consumption? The almost deliberate procession of cliches? Performances so poor they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive hedonism while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this series might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

MobLand

Dodgy characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark platitudes and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly interesting things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a marketing brochure. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was immense for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd recruitment of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from oddly breezy, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – intellectuals frankly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for sexual escapades as she undertook her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.